Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
