At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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