Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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