I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
