you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
