just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
