if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
