i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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