How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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