No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
