Umm I'm too high to move.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
