it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
