just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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