Already got asked if we're dating
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
