ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
