Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
