well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So many bounce houses so little time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
