everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
