yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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