I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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