Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
