Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
