There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
