I just made out with a guy for $7.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
