THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
