Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
