That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am one with the molecules
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My feet surprised me
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
