And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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