you guys were way drunker than both of me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm at about main and main street
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
