Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
