Yo dont text me then not text me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
