i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Less talking, more tequila
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
