By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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