who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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