i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
