i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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