The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
