i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
