The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
