She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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