he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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