I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
