five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You ruined the universe
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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