That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
