You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
