My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there is glitter all over my balls
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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