you would pick up someone in the library
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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