it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
