I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
