This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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