Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
