what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think my moral compass just broke
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
